Hormones...

     I have read the books, I have the APPs, and I daily send Mason little blurbs and tidbits about how the babies are forming and what that is doing to their mom etc.  I have read about these crazy hormones a lot.  I have read they are responsible for my horrific morning sickness in the beginning, the pains I constantly feel in my back and belly as they are helping to "relax" my ligaments (well if that's relaxing I would hate to see exerting because that crap ain't fun or relaxing at all) and  my food aversions and cravings.  I have also read these stories about women losing it over silly things and thought psssssshhhhhhh, that won't be me.  I am too informed and too together for that.  Well, ladies and gentleman...I am now officially THAT woman.  
    Sooooo, the nursery is beautifully painted, the cribs and dresser are up, the bedding is here, ironed and tucked neatly in their cribs, the baby shower invite list is completed, the boxes of diapers we are hoarding and buying on sale are stacked neatly in the office and guest room and I have even washed a couple of loads of boy clothes Melissa gave me and separated them into months of wear.  However, I have decided that the thing that matters most to me in the WORLD at this moment is a chair for the nursery.  See, to me its not just a chair, its where I will spend countless hours bonding with my babies, where I will fall asleep gently holding them, where we will finally get the rhythm of tandem feeding down, and my list goes on.  To Mason, "it needs to recline so I can sleep comfortably" to which I always respond with how much time he really intends to spend in that chair, in that room, and SLEEPING? Really?  Needless to say, we have gone round and round.  We went to Babies R' Us and looked like homeless people one Saturday night because we just hopped from chair to chair reclining and relaxing trying to decide what we liked. Every time we would find one we liked it didn't come in the right color, or the back wasn't high enough for me to be able to lay my head back while I was sitting up right, or it had the little lever on the side and Mason (while pretending to hold two fake babies) would demonstrate to me how difficult it will be for him to recline into the sleeping position with two infants in his arms.  So we got online and found a chair we liked at Costco and sent off for a swatch...well their definition of "ash" resembles some sort of barf brown so that was a no go.  We got online again and looked at buy buy baby, looked up the chairs we found at Babies R' Us that we DID like and tried to find out if they came in a color we liked and we went to Pottery Barn online only to find out they want a semesters college tuition for a chair there.  So I began to PANIC, do you hear me PANICKING...until I thought we had found the answer.  We went to Lazy Boy and I found one I LOVED, except it didn't come in the fabric we needed but that's ok we can choose the custom fabric we want and then it had that pesky lever but we can add power reclining for a few extra hundred dollars and the next thing I knew we were looking at an $1100 chair...BUT IT WAS ON SALE AND THAT IS S STEAL FOR A LAZY BOY CHAIR. We left with the guys card fully intending to bring my sister-in-law/decorator back to help pick out the fabric.  And then I went to Hobby Lobby and something happened.  Well it might have been that when I told sister-in-law/decorator she asked me a few questions that got me thinking like, 1) where will you put this chair in a year when it needs to come out of the nursery, nothing else in your house is grey? 2) If you were to try to sell it later you would never get anywhere near what you paid for it etc.  Now don't get me wrong, she was gung ho to help me come pick out fabric and order that puppy on the spot...but she was right.  We have spent so much of this pregnancy trying to do things as frugally as possible knowing the financial future we have in front of us.  Certain things we can't scrimp on like medical care etc. but we have bought our cribs on sale, opted out of custom bedding, and have taken ANY hand me downs people have offered us.  And here I was, ready to drop over a GRAND on a chair that I had no idea what I would do with when the kids are done with it.  So as I walked to the car where Mason was waiting the tears started. When I got in the front seat he looked horrified and asked me what happened and I was sobbing so hard and so uncontrollably I couldn't even tell him. When I finally squeaked out the words he confessed that he agreed, that he thought that was very steep but that I "seemed so happy to have found something" and then I started screeching out an apology like a howler monkey and crying at the same time.  So, being the man I know and love he offered to feed me because that ALWAYS makes me better!  So I drove over to the Whataburger and I was still sobbing UNCONTROLLABLY because we are NEVER going to find anything and I will have to rock my babies on a stool or something and he kept telling me "babe, we have time, we will find something" but it didn't matter...I was inconsolable.  I ordered his food at the drive thru between sobs and as we were pulling up he told me to stop and "get it together before these people think I beat you".  I tried, I dabbed at my face and my eyes and then the tears just poured again.  We got up to the window and they handed me his drink and it sort of subsided a bit so I was just breathing hard and kind of gasping for breath when they opened the window and handed me the bag.  The sweet girl said "we gave you some apple pies because you seem like you are having a rough day"....well, WATERWORLD again.  And I gasped and choked out, "I'm sorry, I'm preggggggnnnnnaaaannnntttt, not ccccrrrraaazzzzyyyy" and she just kind of stared at me.  I flung the food at Mason and pulled over in the parking lot and told him he had to drive and he said "babe..would it help if I took you to Olive Garden" and I choked out "uh huh". So, on the way to the Olive Garden I did finally get it together but I didn't think to look at myself in a mirror before entering the restaurant.  We went in and I ordered and the lady asks me if I would like a complimentary beverage while I wait and as they bring out my order the other lady says "we put some extra breadsticks in there for ya" and she winks at me.  So I start crying again, this time not as forcefully, but when we got to the car and I looked in the mirror NO WONDER they offered me free stuff.  I was a hot mess. I looked like I had been punched in the face repeatedly.  Red, swollen, makeup everywhere.  Mason said he was going to take me over to the car dealership and see if they would give him some free stuff too. 
   So the moral of the story is, I lost it at two different eating establishments OVER A CHAIR. I have joined the club and I am now one of those women and ya know what, I HOPE I run into a pregnant lady crying at some point in my life cause I am gonna buy her dinner, give her cash, or wash her car because this creating people business is HARD.