22 Weeks and THAT Day....

   I knew it was coming....the day where I cried and felt sorry for myself and decided I was over being pregnant.  Well, really, who am I kidding...I had a LOT of these days when I was barfing everything I ate 4 times a day but it has been a while.  Well yesterday was that day again.  My rib pain and back pain was so bad, so piercing it was taking my breath away.  I was unable to meet with one of my groups and I was in the clinic about 6 different times trying to lay down and keep the pain at bay.  Several people told me to call the doctor but here's the thing, I normally go to doctor's for papercuts really (well that's what my family would tell you) but I knew exactly what they would say, "go to labor and delivery and get monitored" and I knew it wasn't contractions because its the same pain I have been having since right before I fell and I have been monitored twice since then.  And those Labor and Delivery trips aren't free!!!!  We listened to them on the doppler the night before and I have read up on contractions, they are in your low back and pelvis and they stop for nothing.  My pain is in my high back, below my ribcage and goes completely away when I lay down.  I got home yesterday at 4:30, fed the dogs, and got in bed where I did not leave all night.  I was mopey and sad and sweet Mason put on Elf for me to watch and that did make me laugh a little.  I didn't even eat dinner...that is how blehhhhh I was feeling.  Only popsicles and chocolate milk for me.  15 weeks seems really far away and it seemed REALLY far away last night.  I felt so guilty because I want this so badly. to be a mom, to have these babies, for them to be healthy, all of which requires they cook for as long as possible but there were moments yesterday where I thought "DELIVER ME JESUS!". I kept googling the wherabouts of my pain and LOTS of women experienced the same things so that made me feel a little better.  But I felt sorry for me and I told Mason "this is hard" and I cried and whined. But today, I told myself I wasn't doing that.  I immediately took tylenol when I woke up this morning and I have taken it consistently every 3.5 hours all day today.  I brought my pregnancy pillow with me and it made the car ride pain free and I didn't start to feel twinges of pain until about 10:15 today. I have stayed in my desk chair and had my groups of kiddos come to me and the pain has been very manageable today.  It's still there but I haven't had to go lay down in the clinic at all (knock on wood) and when it starts to creep up I get up and walk or stop and lean back in my chair and put my feet up. Yesterday also marked 22 weeks which is officially 15 weeks and 1 day from our March 26th C-Section and THIS is what I am already working with...

That.Is.Ridiculous. 

  But its ok.  I need to get bigger, they need to get heavier, and I need to get over it and that is my intention but yesterday wasn't one of my better days.